Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I was about to say I was feeling down when I realized it wasn't really true. I feel fine. I think I just thought that because I'm kind of tired. Plus I'm hungry, and that can sometimes be the EXACT same feeling as guilt. Which is, I guess, why some sad people can overeat, because they're trying to fill up their guilt, but let's not go there.

Anyway, that thought reminded me of other times I have felt down in the past. Sometimes, all it would take to snap out of a mood like that would be to go run or work out-- a lot of times actually. But other times, I could run and run, and still feel like I was slipping into the pit of the Sarlaac, and that was scary.

There's a big difference between feeling like you did something and knowing that you did something (and I mean "something" as ontologically substantive-- good=substance, evil=absence, so something=good). After you go running, you feel it in your whole body and it's good. It's good to use your body well, and it affects your soul. But endorphins are a lot of that. The feeling after running is still nothing like the feeling after keeping a very difficult resolution, or avoiding a particularly enticing temptation. When that happens, you know you did something.

And even it occasionally confuses me into thinking that I'm feeling down (which was really only a fleeting thing), I'd love to always be so tired from doing somethings that I can barely think for myself. That's the point of it all, right? I just don't do enough somethings very often.

2 comments:

Katie Leigh said...

I don't do enough somethings either. I totally commiserate with this post.

crysOakleee said...

Oh, so you're saying we should be proactive? What a lame term. What a lame concept.

Think of going swimming in the lake; do you like the water so cold that your calves turn into ice blocks? Do you like the water so warm that you feel as if you were in a hot tub? I prefer the medium. Lukewarmness for me all the way.