Wednesday, July 30, 2008

I was in Michigan last week, nine days of lying on the beach, eating grilled meat, playing golf and beach volleyball and drinking to my heart’s content, or maybe a little past that point. I actually got back from vacation exhausted, like I needed a few ten hour workdays to really wind down and relax.

I guess I’m still like a kid in that sense – for me, vacation is like recess for me. I get out of where I’m trapped all day every day working, and for a specific, limited amount of time, I get to do whatever I want as long as I don’t throw up or make anyone cry. And let me ask you this: do you see a lot of first graders lying around the blacktop with a kickball under their heads, or flipping through Calvin and Hobbes while they lounge on the playground’s bouncy bridge like it’s a hammock? No, you don’t.

So I went and I ran around and I got sunburned and cut my feet running through the woods shoeless playing Foxes and Hounds, and bruised and abused myself so that I was physically sore for the whole second half of the week. That’s just how I roll.

And I ate and drank too much, because the food – my goodness, the food. With as many family cooks up there as we had, the food was abundant and delicious. The dinner rundown:

Saturday: Grilled brats, burgers and hot dogs, with whatever accoutrements
Sunday: Grilled beef tenderloin
Monday: Barbecued pulled-pork sandwiches
Tuesday: Lasagna
Wednesday: Beer-butt chicken and cheesy cornbread
Thursday: Shrimp, mussels, corn, chorizo sausages
Friday: Grilled whitefish with cherry salsa
Saturday: Grilled pork loin

Oh, you could almost hear us all getting fatter.

On Sunday, before we left, my brother and I were sitting in the car when he decided that it would be fun, if you had a dog, to name the dog a crude or suggestive word. Groper, Fuckstick, Anus, Herpes, Buttplug, Merkin, Phallus the Fister and Whore are a few possibilities.

And now I’m back, sitting at work, and it seems somehow fitting that the list of names keeps running through my mind. Over and over and over again.


The [Cherry] Ride said...

Beer-butt chicken? Explanation, please.

Kayleigh said...

1) I agree with the [cherry] ride
2) Nice little vacay you had there.

Falwless said...

I'm pretty sure you're a 9 year old in a twentysomething year old body. Also, you can pick up your G.I. Joe dolls at my house whenever it's convenient.

Nicole said...

Aw, good to have you back.

surviving myself said...

I could hear you getting fatter.

A Margarita said...

So long as you didn’t throw up or make anyone cry? I don't know. That seems kind of limiting.

jinius said...

o.m.g. you had me at barbecue pulled pork sandwiches. who knew that pulled meat could be so delicious?

as for dog names, i personally like fuck face.

or kevin.

Hollywood Sucker said...

I don't think i know what a merkin is.