Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A Daily Dose of Discouragement

Do you ever get the feeling that you're kind of boring? Are you ever confronted by your own subconscious sneaking suspicion that no one else thinks you're clever, that most of your friends find you mildly tedious, that you're the only person that really thinks your jokes are funny?

You ever feel like an emptyheaded waste of space? Because you are.

[rimshot please]

No, of course I don't know for a fact that you are a boring person, but statistically speaking, it's pretty likely. Maybe you really are witty, and superlatively engaging. Fine, it could be true.

But maybe you just think that. So don't be surprised if one of these days it comes to you like a thunderclap, while you're walking down the street, or reading a magazine, or tying your shoes, that you are a tremendous dullard.

Prepare yourself for the realization, because if it catches you unawares, it could shatter your delicate, stupid psyche. Much better to wean yourself from feelings of self-righteous intelligence, engaging in a daily effort to comprehend your own mental shortcomings. What's the saying? That we must know our weaknesses in order to improve ourselves? Well, if your weakness is a failure to recognize your own stupidity, you'd better get on that.

My recommendation? Spend a little time at the end of each day focusing on jokes you didn't understand, instructions you couldn't remember, or mistakes in the office or at home. Set aside five minutes or so each morning to repeat a boring phrase to yourself over and over, and culminate with the firm thought "I think I am dumber today than I thought I was yesterday."

You'll be healthily despondent before you know it.


Princess Pointful said...

Ahhhh... the good ol' human flaw that we always think we are all better than average-- smarter, prettier, and more interesting.
Of course, therein lies the statistical problem... where are all these average, and, heaven forbid, below average people?

tiff said...

Oh, those people that think they're the funny! Aren't they the worst!

Haha. Ha. Ha.

You're not talking about me.