Wednesday, March 4, 2009

My dream

"Wouldn't it be neat if your life had a soundtrack?" That's what people say.

I respond, "yeah, it would be ok. Although I think my soundtrack would consist of Funky Cold Medina on repeat."

I had a dream that I was the featured entertainment at by older sister's graduation party - doing stand-up comedy, which of course I've never done. I remember I got up in front of the twenty-or-so people there, inconveniently gathered in front of my garage, and started into my prepared beginning.

"What's up dudes?" I said, and then closer to the mic so it crackled loud with reverb. "What's up dudes?"

I put my hands on the podium and leaned close, close to the mic. "I'm going to do my best Dane Cook impression... and get saliva ALL OVER this podium," I said. Scattered laughs.

"People told me I was going to be nervous, and they were right. They told me I'd freeze like a deer in the headlights up here. So seriously, all you, and especially the people in the front couple rows... please don't point a car at me."



And that's all I remember of my monologue. But I made that shit up in my sleep. That's the funniest thing I've done while unconscious since I peed in this girl's bed in college. Just kidding, sort of.

But seriously, do you ever remember making up an original joke in a dream? Am I special? Please God, let me be special.

8 comments:

A Margarita said...

Yes, you are very special, and totally not in the "special needs" way.

Prosy said...

I had a dream one time, and I was fluent in Spanish. It didn't carry over into the morning.

Anonymous said...

You are very special indeed. Since I have been lurking all week and you already know who I am I thought I ought to come clean....I have had quite a few laughs to be sure. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Gahhhhh! Write something new already!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

I was just talking about this with someone the other day! I made up this great joke about back-wash. I'd tell you, but I'm thinking of using it in something. The joke, not the backwash itself.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

In a dream I thought of it.

Do you know Paul McCartney wrote Yesterday in his sleep, woke up, hummed to everyone he knew, and nobody knew it, so he was like, "Oh. Guess I wrote it."

Unfair . . .

lovskom said...

You are special. I have never heard anyone make up original jokes in their sleep before. Except for the other person who commented about backwash. Guess it's just you and him then, the special ones. You two could form a band called the Special Ones.

J. Hi said...

You are special. My dreams are usually me running from something like a tornado. Not funny.