"Wouldn't it be neat if your life had a soundtrack?" That's what people say.
I respond, "yeah, it would be ok. Although I think my soundtrack would consist of Funky Cold Medina on repeat."
I had a dream that I was the featured entertainment at by older sister's graduation party - doing stand-up comedy, which of course I've never done. I remember I got up in front of the twenty-or-so people there, inconveniently gathered in front of my garage, and started into my prepared beginning.
"What's up dudes?" I said, and then closer to the mic so it crackled loud with reverb. "What's up dudes?"
I put my hands on the podium and leaned close, close to the mic. "I'm going to do my best Dane Cook impression... and get saliva ALL OVER this podium," I said. Scattered laughs.
"People told me I was going to be nervous, and they were right. They told me I'd freeze like a deer in the headlights up here. So seriously, all you, and especially the people in the front couple rows... please don't point a car at me."
And that's all I remember of my monologue. But I made that shit up in my sleep. That's the funniest thing I've done while unconscious since I peed in this girl's bed in college. Just kidding, sort of.
But seriously, do you ever remember making up an original joke in a dream? Am I special? Please God, let me be special.