Thursday, April 17, 2008

Ask me a question

Everyone knows what "The Hills" is, right? And who Heidi Montag is, right? And everyone knows how some bad R&B can get so raunchy it's not even sexy any more, it's just more, you know, what?!

Well, this dialogue occurred earlier today - observe the intersection of patterns:

My friend: I heard Heidi Montag is coming out with a new single called “I want to be your toilet paper.”

Me: That is incredible.

My friend: I know, isn’t it?

Me: …actually, no.*

Well, that was a short post, so we better have something else to go with it. So ask me a question, any question at all, and I'll answer it, guaranteed. I won't even need to consult any sources, because the reservoir of knowledge inside my dome is an umplumbable depth.

This is sort of like that meme or whatever - except my answers are guaranteed to be better than anyone else's you've ever seen.

* This story is totally false. Don't look up the song; it doesn't exist.

So... questions?

16 comments:

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
J. Hi said...

Question...

Who's the best cereal mascot? (If you answer anyone but Sonny, you are wrong. Cocoa Puffs rule!)

tiff said...

What's your best memory?
What's your worst memory?
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Have you ever been in love?

A Lil' Irish Lass said...

What did the comment from "anonymous" say?

fort knocks said...

It said "why are you gay?" and I'm sensitive about that because I'm NOT gay.

It's not that I'm really sensitive about it, but it's just that I am not gay! I'm not. But it's not a big deal... so just, don't call me gay. Because I'm not. I'm really not.

surviving myself said...

are you gay?

fort knocks said...

Well, if you must know... I'm gay. I'm gay, all right? I'm gayer than Elton John's fanny-pack. I like boys. I like to um, hold hands with them and once I kissed a boy on the lips. and we were naked at the time.

Falwless said...

How come a co-worker of mine once told me she went to the local zoo and the bear was in its habitat and it was - get this - masturbating, but since that time whenever I visit (daily), I never catch it jerking off? Just wondering. Do you think it's me? Should I sport more cleavage?

Asiankp said...

Who is your favorite sibling?
Who is your favorite cousin?
Who is your favorite person that your sister lives with?

Anonymous said...

Are you susceptible to any cheeses?

Falwless said...

Thanks for nothing, ass clown. I've now asked 4 people that question and none will answer me. You and Dear Abby can both go to hell.

Malice Blackheart said...

I don’t imagine sporting more cleavage would do much for the bear. Ask your friend what she was wearing when she went to visit. Was she wearing a fur coat? Or maybe one of those Russian hats? Try skinning something and wearing that.

Malice Blackheart said...

Question:
Why did you choose the name “Fort Knocks?”

Kayleigh said...

Despite being about 6 foot 6, can you still do the limbo? If so, can you torque your body to then beat out much shorter people?

A Margarita said...

Hmmm, a question. How personal can I get? Kidding, that's not my question.

Boxers or briefs?

tiff said...

is this a trick where you're like "as me a question" but you never answer them?