Everyone knows what "The Hills" is, right? And who Heidi Montag is, right? And everyone knows how some bad R&B can get so raunchy it's not even sexy any more, it's just more, you know, what?!
Well, this dialogue occurred earlier today - observe the intersection of patterns:
My friend: I heard Heidi Montag is coming out with a new single called “I want to be your toilet paper.”
Me: That is incredible.
My friend: I know, isn’t it?
Me: …actually, no.*
Well, that was a short post, so we better have something else to go with it. So ask me a question, any question at all, and I'll answer it, guaranteed. I won't even need to consult any sources, because the reservoir of knowledge inside my dome is an umplumbable depth.
This is sort of like that meme or whatever - except my answers are guaranteed to be better than anyone else's you've ever seen.
* This story is totally false. Don't look up the song; it doesn't exist.