What follows is a quiz. If you fail, I will insert bamboo shoots beneath your fingernails.
1. If my life were a novel, the title would be:
"Murder at the Mandrake Lodge: A Tale of Intrigue, Sensuality, and One Misplaced Banana Peel." What would yours be?
2. Do truck drivers get at least mildly frustrated and annoyed when people pull up to the right of them at a red light and accelerate past them, and they take sooo long to get up to speed?
3. English muffins or bagels?
4. Baygels or baggels?
5. Why isn't there a movie about a nun with a bazooka? Is it because if anyone ever did it, mankind would have reached the pinnacle of artistic expression, and we all might as well drink the Kool-aid?
6. Who is ugliest?
7. What do you think about nuts or wheat kernels in bread?
8. If I was a billionaire, I would not make wallpaper out of money for my parlor, because that would be ugly. Plus, I wouldn't have a parlor. But I might make a wallet out of hundred dollar bills, carefully double-folded and stitched, because, come on, how cool would that be? What would you do if you were a billionaire?
9. What comes first?
10. Waterskiing in chocolate milk, riding a brontosaurus, punching Hitler in the groin, walking on the ceiling, riding with Ghengis Khan, $500 in singles spontaneously appearing in your underpants, or serving a large dish of crepes to Napoleon when a screaming monkey jumps out and startles Napoleon so much that he poops a little bit. ?
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2 comments:
You're ridic.
1) Imp of the Perverse
2) They get really really mad, and decide whether or not it's worth it to ram you off the road.
3) baguffins
4) baygel
5) There should be a movie about the nun from the Blues Brothers wielding a bazooka.
6) The ugliest? The hunchback of Notre Dame.
7) Nuts = sick Wheat kernals = sure why not
8) Sail around on my yacht, traverse the entire planet, read intellectually stimulating books, take up a new hobby or two, hire a personal chef to make me tasty treats such as homemade guac, filet mignons, etc., rent out hotels/cities/islands for my friends and I to have extravagant parties, whatever the heck I wanted!!
9) I came first
10) I can't waterski, I don't like hitting people, being upside down, or having things randomly appear in bulk, so I would say brontysaurus ride. At least it wouldn't be tempted to eat me.
Why you keep changing the name of your blog, huh?
1. "Crystalicious"
2. Mildly frustrated, but not annoyed.
3. Muffins! Good, what kind? All kinds! Good! what else?
4. Bagless, but a little puffy.
5. The Kool-aid is gone already and we're on the downward slope. The nun with the bazooka doesnt come until the end.
6. Catherine Zeta Jones and Jude Law. (Grace Kelly and Matt Damon win.)
7. Too much in bread-maker bread with lots of mayonnaise and bologna makes me rofl.
8. Maybe one of those rings from a dollar bill. Who knows how to make those anyway?
9. The Word.
10. Definitely Riding with Ghengis Khan and also falling like a feather from the third floor.
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